Dubstep belongs on a beach in Thailand.

Aaaaand I'm back on Phuket.

When I last updated you, I was in Cambodia heading back to Bangkok, and on to Koh Samui via Bangkok Airways. After the debacle of that trip, Bangkok Airways can suck it (sorry, Grandmama...) Meri and I paid to change our tickets so that we would arrive on Koh Samui by 4 p.m., instead of our scheduled 7:30 p.m. Arriving earlier would give us plenty of time to catch the last ferry to Koh Phangan, leaving at 6:30 p.m. We left Siem Reap on time at 9:30 a.m.; the 35 minute flight put us in Bangkok, through immigration, at around 11 a.m. Our flight to Koh Samui was due to begin boarding at 1:30 p.m., so Meri and I ate a quick lunch (fun fact: Suvarnabhumi airport has a Popeye's chicken) and headed to the Bangkok Airways lounge to hang out till we would board. Our flight was delayed by two hours. Finally at 3:30 p.m. I went to the Bangkok Airways attendant and (somewhat) politely explained that we had paid a large sum of money to change our flights in order to guarantee our arrival in Koh Samui before the departure of the ferry. She was as helpful as she could have been in the situation and assured us we'd be airborn by 4:30 p.m. We finally took off at 5 p.m. A 50 minute flight and baggage delayed by 20 minutes put us in a taxi to the pier at 6:20 p.m. We were the last people on the boat, but we made it. Extreme patience during the frustrations of the day was rewarded with this sunset over Koh Samui:


It seriously looked like the clouds in the sky were a painting. Probably the most incredible sunset I've ever seen. Just look at it again:


Awesome. However, we discovered that my small Nikon, my Swiss Army knife and Meri's bathing suit somehow went missing during one of those flights. Hence, Bangkok Airways can suck it and I will never fly with them again (I know, I was going to have so many opportunities to do so while living in Atlanta.)

We met back up with Paige in Koh Phangan and proceeded to party hard for the next four days. Seriously, that beach is designed for dancing. Our hotel had foam parties daily and the parties on the beach at night were incredible; we never went more than a couple hours without hearing WAY too much dubstep and techno remixes (turns out, that's the only way to enjoy Enrique's music.)

The day of the much anticipated Full Moon Party, we went on an adventure snorkeling/kayaking tour of the island. The tour kind of sucked, snorkeling had terrible visibility and a propeller almost took off Paige's head, but we met some cool guys and hung out with them for awhile.

Rules for Full Moon Party:

1. Wear Shoes. This one was tough for me, dancing in the sand barefoot is super tempting. However, glass bottles (and the rare but creepy hypodermic needles) are a real threat to remaining infection free.

2. Don't take anything you aren't prepared to lose. This meant no cell phones (easy for Meri, since she dumped her's in the pool the day before the party) no cameras and no valuables. We were getting ready to go out and Meri comes out with her purse, which has all of her credit cards and her passport. Oh, Meri...if you don't get mugged, you'll definitely just lose it when you're drunk.

3. Don't expect that you'll ever find your friends again if you get separated without a plan. There's a place on Haad Rin, the beach where the parties are held each month on the night of the full moon, that serves chicken schnitzel 24 hours a day. They call it Chicken Corner, fittingly enough. Our plan was to meet at Chicken Corner if we got separated for more than 15 minutes. Yes, we had to put this plan into place...with more than 10,000 people partying in a relatively small space, getting separated is a given.

4. If you want just the alcohol, your bucket will be more expensive. Buckets are exactly what they sound like - a small sand bucket, which looks like a beach toy, filled with the drink of your choosing. Standard recipe is one small bottle of liquor, one mixer and an energy drink. You can mix and match ingredients, choosing whatever you'd like, but the sellers have to mix it for you. This is so they can short you and not pour the entire bottle of liquor in your bucket. For example: A bottle of Smirnoff vodka costs 219 baht in the store. We found a lady, Emma, who would give us buckets for 150 baht. Paige decided to be sneaky and buy the bucket and just take the bottle of alcohol. Emma was having none of that, so we had to pay 250 baht for that fiasco.

5. Neon colors are REQUIRED. This includes wearing a tank top in some outrageous color as well as copious amounts of body paint. The more brightly colored you are, the more fun, right?

6. Only jump the fire ropes if you have leg hair you're willing to lose. This is Meri's rule, but I guess it's a good one. Fire ropes are jump ropes that have been set on fire (like you couldn't have figured that one out.) They are scary and dangerous but extremely tempting once you've had a couple of buckets. To avoid burns, don't do it. To have a bad ass story to tell, definitely do it. Same goes for breathing fire - kerosene can't possibly taste good, but it sure does make you look like a fucking hero.

7. If you're still planning to be out when the sun comes up, try not to lose all of your clothes. Self explanatory. Walking around in just your thong means everyone WILL make fun of you and assume you hooked up with a rando sometime before sunrise. Also included in this rule: try not to actually get caught having sex on the beach when the sun comes up. That is just embarrassing for you.

8. Don't don't don't buy drugs. Of any kind. Chances are, the person selling it to you is going to go straight to the cops and rat you out, and then you'll go to the Bangkok Hilton. You do not want to end up there. (This shit really does happen in Thailand all the time.) Side note: While I was flying to Malaysia, my boarding pass read "Be forewarned: Death to drug traffickers." They take that shit seriously here.

Ok, that's my last rule. Clearly, we had a fucking awesome time. The goal way to make it through the night with no blood or tears; even though we ended up with both, I'd say the night was a success. Here's Meri before the party, in her "This is what I'd look like if I'd just gotten sold into sex slavery" pose:


Here's Paige in her sweet throwback outfit:


The next day Meri and I rode elephants again. Meri was groomed by a baby monkey who could not understand why she would have bobby pins in her hair, and Meri and I were molested (well, lightly molested; we can laugh about it...now) by creepy Thai mahouts. Elephants, however, are awesome and worth being touched inappropriately sometimes.





After Koh Phangan we headed out of the Gulf of Thailand to return to the Andaman Sea. We crossed the mainland via Surat Thani and made it to Ao Nang in Krabi. Ao Nang is the worst smelling city I've ever visited. Also, the electricity went out one day and there was no where available for food. And we SERIOUSLY value our nourishment. We had one whole day in Ao Nang so we decided to take a boat to Railay. I'd heard it was one of the most beautiful places in Thailand, so of course I was excited to see it. Boy, was I disappointed. The full moon made the tides act crazy, so the water level was really low. Also, it just wasn't that impressive. Instead of laying on the beach, we took advantage of the cliffs and decided to go rock climbing. Best decision ever. We paid 800 baht ($25) to rent equipment and have a guide for the day. We did four different routes (and all three of us were injured) but it was awesome. Here we are:


I made Paige pose like that.


Meri was pretty much the only one qualified to belay the guide.



The big ass wall we climbed!

Climbing was pretty much the only redeeming thing about Krabi for us. Oh, and this view:


And this one:


The next day we took the ferry to Koh Phi Phi. We climbed to the viewpoint (260 steep ass stairs and a tough uphill walk) to see the sunset. I'd done that before, the last time I was on Phi Phi, but it was nice to be able to experience that with them.





We also went on a snorkeling/kayaking sunset adventure in Phi Phi. First stop was Monkey Beach, where all of Meri's dreams came true and she was able to play with real monkeys in the wild. These monkeys also tried to pull her bobby pins out. It is scarier when they are big, adult monkeys instead of a little baby.





Yes, that is a baby monkey clinging to her belly.

From Monkey Beach we went snorkeling on Phi Phi Ley, and then to Maya Bay. It was just as beautiful as the first time I saw it.

While on Phi Phi we also saw a fire show, and one of the performers just won the title of best fire dancer in Thailand. If you're in Phi Phi any time soon, the show is at Carlito's at 10 p.m. Adorable bar and awesome show.








We just got back to Phuket today, and Paige and I headed to a tailor to get custom made suits. Hilarious experience. We're going for our first fitting tonight at 9:30 p.m. before we go out on Bangla (and we're going to a ping pong show.) Should be interesting...

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Location:Patong, Phuket Thailand