We chose to go with this particular company because: a) they're the highest in Phuket, 60 meters off the ground and b) they stated they were operated to Australian standards. We figured, if it's up to Australian standards, we won't die. That, at least, was true, but I think that was more luck than anything else.
The brochure, which I am loath to admit I do not have a picture of, showed a well kept adventure complex, with a bar, nice lake, mini golf and bumper cars. The cost also included transportation to and from our hotel. We talked them down by 200 baht per person and signed up.
The vehicle that picked us up was a run down 1972 Ford Taurus (or something equally as offensive) with no air conditioner and pleather seats. After sweating our asses off (unfortunately, I do not mean that literally) we pulled up in the parking lot of the equally run down attraction park. There was no operational bar. There was no available mini golf (well, a couple holes were there. They formed the side walk.) The nice lake was actually a cesspool with a depressingly inadequate 'fountain' in the middle.
All of these should have been clues that we should turn around, say "fuck the money" and go home. However, I urged the three of us on. I'm now going to show a series of pictures that describe our experience far better than my oh so eloquent words can. We thought there was a video too, but, well, I won't mention that for Meri's sake. (Infer all you want at this point. Am I not mentioning it because it's a video of Meri peeing her pants? Did Paige do something equally as embarrassing that I'm not mentioning, because Meri promised I wouldn't? Or did Meri think she was filming when she was actually doing NOTHING? Well, you'll never know, will you?)
There are several things you should notice about these pictures. Most importantly, Meri is a giant with weird hands in the last picture. (I'm literally laughing out loud as I write that and continue to look at the picture. It's hilarious.) Also, you can actually see the guy pushing Meri off the platform. Pretty sure that's illegal. Additionally, we are only strapped in by our legs, and only by foam wrapped about and a rope around the foam. Thank goodness we're relatively...substantial in that area. Finally, and definitely not the least important point, our stomachs all look fucking awesome when we're hanging upside down. At least we're all alive.
After bungee jumping Paige and I went to get fitted for our custom suits that we got in Patong. Yes, we finally said 'yes' when someone asked if we wanted a suit. She got a bad ass (not Rockabilly) white linen jacket and I got two skirt suits. Awesome quality and it's pretty cool that they were made to our specific instructions.
Paige and I spent our last day pampering ourselves with massages, facials and manicures and pedicures (unlike Paige, I refuse to say mani-pedi. Or bestie. WTF again.) Then at 8 p.m. we headed to the Phuket airport for an 11 p.m. flight to Bangkok. We landed and got our luggage and were camped out at 1 a.m. for the long wait. What followed, for each of us, was pure madness. Meri wins the contest, though.
Paige was able to check in to her flight at 2:30 a.m. So as to avoid being stuck in Tokyo for several days, she changed her direct to Atlanta flight to a direct to Detroit flight, where she connected to Atlanta. Delta, making her pay to spend more time on an airplane, for a connecting flight instead of direct: fail. However, she made both flights and even got first class on the long haul flight. First class=worth it.
I was able to check in at 6:30 a.m. for my 8:40 a.m. flight to Mumbai. I left Meri at about 7 a.m. and managed to only cry a teeny bit (come on, it's sad. I won't see her for 2 months!) I asked for seats by myself, because my earlier flights were so awesome when I could lay down and sleep. My luck ran out, though, because all my flights were full. Bangkok-Mumbai: Miserable, smelly, no sleep. Layover in Mumbai where my cards didn't work, restaurants didn't take the GBP coins I had and I was starving. Mumbai-London: Crazy man shouting at flight attendants because it is clearly their fault that he didn't book his family's seats together caused us to take off 30 minutes later than scheduled. Freezing cold, couldn't sleep, but decent food (finally.) Watched Blood Diamond solely to hear Leonardo di Caprio speak in South African accent. Worth it. Also watched We Bought a Zoo; different than I thought it would be. Cried a teeny bit more (come on, it's sad.) Landed in London, navigated three trains to get to my hostel. Starving again so went to a pub for dinner. Of course, it's a Thai British pub. So I said, no mister, I've been in Thailand for 3 months, I'll take a cheeseburger. He understood and acquiesced. 40 hours without sleep and I fucking passed out.
Meri's journey went a tad bit differently. I left her at 7 a.m. and she hung out till 10 a.m. when she could check in. When she talked to the IndiGo agent, they told her she couldn't enter the country again until June 18th because her 10 year visa only allows one entry per 2 months. She landed in Delhi and went through immigration on April 17th before immediately taking a flight to Bangkok. She barely avoided an embarrassing public emotional breakdown and made her way to a hostel, before heading to the Indian embassy to beg for permission to go back in the country. They understoon and acquiesced. With conditions; she has to hang around in Bangkok for a couple days, who knows exactly how long, till the Indian embassy gives her passport back to her. So she's currently stranded in Bangkok until further notice. Hey, every day is an adventure.
As of now, Paige is at home, probably craving guava, Meri is in Bangkok eating Black Forrest cornettos, and I'm in London, enjoying the following:
Totally touristy day tomorrow, going to the Tower of London and Hampton Court Palace. Had to get some warmer clothes today, as it's 55 degrees and rainy here. On Thursday, back to ATL! Nothing makes you appreciate home like 3 months away from it.
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